Would you get in line and suffer, you insufferable little twerps
Ontario decides to go old-school on your four-year-old.
The Ontario government is composed of grumpy old men and worse women who think that playing and being happy are two of the most miserable activities known to children and will therefore stamp it out in favour of good old-fashioned rigorous academic achievement.
In other words, they’re being stupid again.
Ontario released a new curriculum for kindergarten in the province on Thursday, but the shift away from “play-based” learning towards “academic rigor” is sparking concern from teachers and opposition.
The new “back-to-basics” curriculum will go into effect in the 2026-2027 school year. It contains changes to learning expectations including new requirements in math, science and language skills.
Current learning expectations for kindergarteners in the province follow the province’s 2016 Kindergarten Program which emphasizes learning through exploration and play.
Next school year, kindergarten learning will include “evidence-based, systematic, and explicit instruction in reading, as well as strengthened learning in mathematics, science and technology,” according to a Ministry of Education memo sent to schools this week.
Introduction to fractions, adding and subtracting to 10 and vocabulary and reading fluency are among some of the updated curriculum requirements.
For fuck’s sake. Microbiology and advanced reasoning, too, while we’re at it?
I’m no academic expert, but I’ve homeschooled three children for 12 years (in addition to teaching karate to a bunch more) and I can absolutely tell you that the best way for anyone to learn anything is to find joy in it.
With my kids we learned storytelling and the basics of grammar by reading poetry out loud. We acted out short plays and Dr. Seuss stories. We played “store” to learn the basics of addition and subtraction. I had computer games to make them practice basic math. When it came to the multiplication tables, I couldn’t think of any fun activity so I resorted to making them memorize the thing and that was perhaps the worst three weeks of my parenting life. They got it in the end, which is serving them not at all now that they’re older teenagers, but I’m pretty sure my premier doesn’t want to hear how pointless rote memorization feels.
This, by the way, is the same bunch of politicians who believe that the only way to work is in an office after a long-ass commute in a car. They seem to think that nothing worthwhile can happen if it’s not miserable and painful. Work should feel like a sentence, dammit. And so should school, at any age. None of this playing bullshit. The Ford government wants you — and your kids — to suffer every day. That’s the only way they know you’re contributing.
Try to remember that next time we vote. And pick a different option, please and thank you.