Buc-ee’s, for real
Le castor aux dents longues sait comment placer ses bébelles.
When the opportunity to stop at a Buc-ee’s strike, I always grab it with both buckteeth. On my way to Huntsville, Alabama, from Nashville last Saturday I stopped by the one in Athens, to use the World’s Cleanest Toilets, buy a sandwich and trip over one display after another full of whimsy and curiosity and a couple of guffaws to boot. And a timeless lesson about the benefits of merchandising.
Buc-ee’s is in the business of making money selling you gas and food and car washes and ice and pet toys and recipe books and bohemian jerky (whatever that is) and pecan logs and beaver frisbees and roughly all the other novelty items in the world, with two exceptions: Apple Watch bracelets and cat t-shirts. People in the south are entirely biased in favour of dogs. There’s walls full of custom dog treats plus bins full of dog toys and dog shirts and food bowls and like two types of cat treats. Totally unfair.
Everything else it’s got. Especially if it’s loud. I said in a stand-up bit I performed last year, this place screams all-y’all. It is absolutely and thoroughly unashamed of being its weird self. Hell, it advertises it on giant Interstate billboards 100 miles away.
I made a few discoveries this past weekend, and my favourites are umbrellas that look like wine bottles, wearable blankets, trick-or-treating bags shaped like decapitated beavers (why not), sandwiches and all the snacks in the world.
One thing that’s common in most of the pictures I took Saturday is how straight all the lines are, including the fluorescent lights. And clean. Man, those stores gleam. On Saturday there was a lot of rain and one employee’s sole job was to stand in the entryway with a mop to make sure no puddles formed.
The bathrooms — I didn’t want to be cringey by taking pictures in there but one thing that’s notable, other than the fact that they are indeed exceedingly clean and also spacious, is that stalls are very private, with full walls and doors that nearly go floor to ceiling.
So much to buy, so little space in the luggage…
This store does well by being unique and weird, but in a way that doesn’t stress out its customers with unnecessary stimuli. Everything that can be clean and orderly is just so. It leaves a lot of space for the wild side of your imagination to think up reasons why you must absolutely acquire a vinrella.
L’une de mes jobs préférées il y a de cela 300 lunes était dans la vente de vêtements pour homme. Les défuntes boutiques West Coast, à Québec, au début des années 90. Je pense que j’ai travaillé à toutes les succursales, surtout aux Galeries de la Capitale. Comme gérante, je m’occupais de tout, incluant le merchandising et les vitrines. Comment attirer l’œil d’un client potentiel et de sa douce moitié, sans pour autant les effaroucher. C’était ça ma vibe dans le temps.
Buc-ee’s a une vibe complètement différente. C’est particulièrement criard, comme son Texas natal. C’est plein de cossins et de patentes à logos, du doux et du pliable et du genre full fat bacon. C’est rouge et jaune et bigarré.
Et ça marche en sacrament. J’y entre toujours avec l’intention d’acquérir un café et d’utiliser les bécosses les plus propres au monde, et j’en ressort immanquablement avec quelque chose de weird à souhait. Comme, samedi dernier, une bûche de pacanes et un frisbee vert fluo.
Le secret de son succès, à Buc-ee’s, outre ses prix raisonnables pour des produits de toute évidence populaires à souhait, c’est les lignes droites. Partout sur les tablettes et les racks à bébelles, on remarque non seulement l’ordre mais aussi l’absence de désordre. Les employés se promènent dans les allées et se font un devoir de replier et replacer ce que les clients distraits ont éparpillé. Et le tout qui reluit parce que les employés (très bien payés, en passant) astiquent tout à tour de bras.
C’est une expérience unique que je recommande fortement. Surtout pour les chiottes.