Love is better than spanks

My friend Véronique threw a pretty good rant. It's a bit long and it's also quite direct, so take a deep breath before reading it. I was spanked a lot. With hands and sticks. Up until I got big enough to hit back. Which I did. Once. Then it stopped.

I did not turn out alright. I mean, I'm better now, but I went through some pretty rotten times. What Véronique says is true. I don't think the hitting was the main problem, but unmet attachment needs certainly lead to all kinds of problems. And it's also true that you don't have to pass on the same treatment you got as a kid.

I'm not 100% against spanking in all cases. I believe there is room for it when needed, but it has to be done out of love, not anger. Which is not easy. Still, I agree with Véronique that we are not all right and that focusing on meeting our children's attachment needs should be priority number one.


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