I try not to bitch too much. It really doesn't help. But man, I just want to sit down and cry. Or maybe go back to bed. I'm tired, and I can't seem to catch a break these days. I blame the solar system; I'm not getting nearly enough daylight. I need daylight. The real kind, I mean, not those fake lamps people have to fight SAD. I make a point of standing outside with my face in the sun for a few minutes every day, but it's just not enough. I want it not to be so dark when I go jogging in the morning, that's what. Anyway, I'm tired. I don't have energy. So of course I keep pushing myself. Because honestly I don't know what else to do. (I *did* try taking it easy, and did not like it. Softness isn't something I'm interested in, much.) And what happens when you keep pushing yourself even when you don't have enough energy for it? Yes! You get all kinds of hurts all over your body. Joints, especially. They complain a fair bit.
Oh well. I still got up early to go jogging with the pup in the freezing whatever that was drizzling, then shoveled two feet of hard packed icy slush at the end of my driveway, then prepped brekkie for other people, did laundry for five people, some computer work, made my own sprouted protein shake and tea, and in a few minutes I'll head out to the dojo again for a morning of what I expect will be hard training, given that it's the last Sunday morning training before Christmas.
It's going to hurt, but you know what? I know at the end I'll be proud of myself for having pushed through it all. I can grumble all I want, in the end it's very much worth it. Hurts and all.