Someone asked if we are supposed to be a reflection of our parents. Oh boy. No.
You are the product of your DNA, whether you like it or not — and I personally don’t.
I spent my adult life working to be what my parents weren’t. They were very strict with me, sometimes violent (I got hit with sticks when I didn’t behave), and not at all supportive of who I was and what I wanted to be.
They had an idea of what a good daughter should be, and I wasn’t obliging. I wanted to be an artist, and I didn’t care too much about settling down into an old-fashioned marriage. They were hoping for something much more mainstream, and I don’t think they ever understood my path.
It’s one thing not to understand your child. It’s quite another to work against who she is.
That’s what I don’t want to do, ever, with my kids. And the good news is, you can change who you are, you can change your nature.
Debbie Millman is fond of saying that music can change our DNA. I believe it. So can discipline and behavior. If you are determined to become someone different than your parents, you can.
Your job as a person is not to be anyone’s reflection. Your job is to find your path and work as hard as you can to be the best version of you there is, no matter where it leads.